Expectations Vs. Reality

First of all, I’d like to apologize for being missing over the past few weeks; it’s just that I was (still am) dealing with some major changes in my life.

During the past 10 months or so I’ve been living in Seoul, South Korea, it is my second time here, the first time I stayed here for almost two years and let me tell you that I lot of things happened during that time. After being back home (Mexico City) I went through what I believe to be one of the darkest times of my young adult life. As a way to overcome the darkness I decided to return to the place where it all had started, the only difference was that I was ready to face my reality with a brand new attitude, so, I became more positive.

The problem?…that positivity led me to create this perfect scenarios where everything that I wanted came to me as if it was meant to be. This whole bubble that my “positivity” had created has started backfiring in the past few months, leading me back to paths like anxiety and depression. This “relapse” that I had made me think that all that “positive vibes only” was complete useless and a waste of time. I didn’t wanna leave my room unless I had a reason to do so, I felt tired and done with everything.

After struggling, hating, crying and giving up, I started building my spirit once more, I didn’t wanna be as defeated as the first time; I decided to accept the fact that somethings just aren’t meant to be or maybe just maybe the timing is wrong, this little break time helped me realize that being positive is okay as long as you have a sense of your own reality and that’s something that I didn’t care about, until now. Having and waiting for those  expectations made me more vulnerable and somehow predisposed to just wait for “that” to happened.

I still wanna keep up with my positive way of life but this time I’ll keep myself as close to my reality as possible, be positive, be humble but according to your surroundings; I’m not saying not to dream big cause I’m a big believer that we deserve the best for ourselves…I’m just saying that maybe it is better to  live close to your reality than sumerge yourself in expectations.

Lastly, I just wanna say that if you’re going through rough time that you don’t have to be alone. Share your fear, sadness, anger with someone close to your heart, because, that person might be the cornerstone you might need to get on your feet again.

Until next time,

Selene

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