( I tried to edit this entrance but I couldn’t, sorry if it’s too long)
So this a very personal entry but it’s something that I really want to share with you. Recently ,I broke up with my boyfriend without having any clue it would happen; the relationship for me was great, we made it work even though we were completely different.
I met him while I was living in Seoul, and it all happened as if destiny was trying to make up for my lack of choices. We were the same age, but totally different. I am super romantic, needy from time to time and in love with details, he on the other hand was cold with a strange idea of what love is. For a whole year and something we made it work until the moment I decided to go back to Mexico for a quick visit.
After two months of long distance relationship, I was emotionally drained and he was super stressed about it. Our relationship became non existent I mean I felt as if I were nagging him 24/7 just to get the same attention his work and friends were receiving but I had no intentions of breaking up, I believed our love was strong enough… maybe that’s why he decided to call it off, that day my whole world just crumple apart. I was so madly in love with him, you have no idea.
After I was just depressed, I spent 50% of my day crying and the other 50% just sleeping, I was a wreck. I knew I needed to stop but I had no idea of how to do so, I was just mentally gone. I mean, I always had the same thoughts; how can you say you love someone so much and just dumped her, or is he okay, does he regret his decision…
But I decided to go old school, since I can remember I always listen to music that matches my emotions so I can drain them so, without any doubts I started listening to Adele, I mean…she gets it, right?
The first songs were full of emotions I mean, I was down on the floor crying and trying to sing her songs. During the first stage of my breakup I listened to songs like “Make You Feel My Love”, “Take It All”, “Don’t You Remember”, “He won’t go” and so on…now that I think about it it was my way of still holding on to him, that was me not accepting the end of our relationship.
After that I started going for more “I’m okay” songs, this was me trying to let go. My playlists consisted of “Tired”, “First Love”, “Chasing Pavements”and “Rollin in the Deep”. I was determined to let go of him, and it was working Adele’s songs were really working, it’s amazing how someone else can get into your head with words that are so relatable and comforting at the same time.
For me, having something so relatable is what keeps helping me to get over a love I though had no end. Does it still hurt? It does, but having something that’s helping me pour all my emotions is making me stronger and I’m starting to face what I was ignoring. There’s nothing wrong with letting someone go…that person’s gone for a reason.
It’s also opened my eyes to what’s coming next, cause I do believe when something’s not meant to be better things will come along.
And as day passes by I know I’ll be better than I was before, because I learned so much from this, that you can’t even imagine.